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on the morning of your birthday I woke up
in the predawn black
with an unpleasant conviction
that I had poisoned myself
with rat poison
accidentally in my apple pies
my mouth gone completely dry
my throat constricted
a dream about kittens
disappearing into my ceiling light
and as I pulled on a shirt
remembered where we keep the kitchen
even then knowing that the water was useless
and would not stop the internal bleeding
probably already occuring
in the darkness of my gut
on the morning of your birthday
in the predawn black
with an unpleasant conviction
that I had poisoned myself
with rat poison
accidentally in my apple pies
my mouth gone completely dry
my throat constricted
a dream about kittens
disappearing into my ceiling light
and as I pulled on a shirt
remembered where we keep the kitchen
even then knowing that the water was useless
and would not stop the internal bleeding
probably already occuring
in the darkness of my gut
on the morning of your birthday